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Kegs, Bobsleds and Parents Beds

Date Added: 2001-05-31

My best bud was on a holiday from the good ole Marine Core so he flew down from California to San Antonio and his parents just happened to be leaving for the weekend. KEGGER! So the first day we have the keg no one shows up and mister bad ass Marine (drunk ass hell) try’s to bite my finger off. Time for round 2, Sunday night. Know this, we also had a few bottles for our enjoyment. The Marine’s other best bud who we will name Greenhorn was shooting jack with me and trying to kill the keg. Greenhorn’s brother was there and we will call him Fatman. Well Fatman and me decided I need to bobsled down the stairs on a metal folding chair. Fat man sits at the bottom of the stairs to stop me…. Shit that hurt him… Hmmm maybe pillows will stop me better! Something goes astray and I end up on the floor clutching my ankle as fat man gets me some parrots bay. Then somehow Greenhorn disappears…. I decide that fat man has to walk to his house with Smokey (the name says it all) to get me something to fix my ankle and get medical advice from his dad. They take off and 30 minutes later run back in sweating and gasping for breath. They figured it would be fun to shoot fireworks off as they walk back They then tell the story of walking in on Greenhorn who is jacking off at his parents house on the living room couch. We all end up drunk as hell with one guy who the marine had to tend to the whole night(amateur.) The morning after I get a call from Fatman telling me the story of what happened with his brother Greenhorn… It seems Greenhorn went into his parents bathroom and just pissed while turning around in circles and the opened the draw his parents tooth brushes were in and pissed on them too. Greenhorn then had the idea to sleep with his parents. After 2 failed attempts to infiltrate their bed from each side, Greenhorn comes up the ingenious idea to crawl in under the sheets from the foot of the bed! So simple but yet so complicated what could go wrong! Where the drunkman’s thoughts. His dad finally gets fed up and kicks him out of the room and greenhorn finds a nice comfy closet to sleep in. His mom comes out to put him on the couch and in greenhorns own words (oh yeah we think he was crying too) “I’m not gonna sleep on the fucking couch no more!” After some argument his mother gets him to come out of the closet and go to sleep. Turns out we killed the keg that night without even knowing it. Yes what a great memorial day weekend 2001 !!!

Submitted by: kevied

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