K and B’s trip to the Ocean
One weekend my parents decided to take me and my friend to the ocean on last time before we went away for college, they regret that decision still to this day. This because it was the summer after our senior year and we had dedicated it to being alcholics, and even if we were still with my parents we were going to get bombed. The trip started with a pit stop at my new college for orintation and then it was of to the ocean. Orientation was going pretty smoothly until they allowed me and my friend kyle to speak infront of the other freshman. Kyle stood up and said that he was not going to school there and that he felt like a, "Dueche Bag" being there. Then i got up and said, "I am the dueche bags friend and we are going to the ocean to get drunk, see you when school starts" and we were off. We had to make the trip with my dad and his friend, but it was not so bad because we picked up some road brew. Though my dad highly underestimated the drinking force of K n B, he had gotten beer the day before for the ride down but it was already gone, so he picked up a case for me and kyle and some for him and his pal. Well need less if you put a case between me and kyle it is not going to last long. Kyle and I had polished off our case by the time my dad and his friend were only on their third. By this time we had them stopping to let us piss and run around drunk about every five minutes. Though eventually after we had stopped at a Mcdonals for lunch we were cut off from pissing on the side of the road. Eventually, we started drinking the old guys beer and pissing in Mcdonalds cups until we ran out, of cups and beer. So drunk and with out beer, we got sick of having trash all around us, so kyle good and shit canned took all the trash up in his hands and threw it out the window and onto the highway. Well, big papa did not like this after verbaly bitchslapping kyle and out running a angry local in a pick up trunck the car was silent for the rest of the trip. Which was not for to long because we were almost there anyway. This is when we made are grand entrance to the place my parents and their friends were sharing. Upon entering we were told to make a b line to the balcony and to talk as little as we could to the woman folk. So we went out to the balcony and proceded to drink, though that is when something strange happened, one of the small kids came up and punced kyle right in the nuts for some strange reason. Well kyle, who was drinking everclear grain alcohol, did not take this to well. He yelled out some type of blithering, cussing, grunt, at this kid and made him cry, and cry, and cry. This did not go over well at all with the kids dad, who decided to speak through me to kyle about his drunken actions, so i was taken inside and had to listen to the drunken ramblings of my dad and his pal, until they trailed off about Bob Dylan or something. So I went back outside and try to relay the massage to kyle that they were not really mad but we just had to chill out alittle. Kyle did not take this to well, he began to scream his pattened line, "What would you do". And as much as i tried to explain to kyle how they were not mad the more he yelled, "What would you do he punched me in the nuts" So eventually we got over that,and decided to go to an under 18 dance club to find some punnany. We both had no luck, we were so drunk we just stood on some large object and did the best dancing two guys drunk on grain alcohol could muster. Eventually we went home and pasted out, and woke up to my mom bitching about how she better see us on the beach in an hour and that we were not allowed to drink anymore. This is were most people would stop, but we are K n B and we stop drinking for nothing. So we made our apperence at the beach and redemed enough dignity for us to be allowed to be left at home when everyone left at night, which meant break out the booze. So me and kyle rifled down a few stiff mixed drinks, and i had one sip in my last drink when in walked the bithces. This is were the shit hit the fan. After smelling my drink which probally smelled like 90% booze, she preceded to beat me with a passion, then she went in our room to look in our bags. All that we heard is, "Where are you fucking clothes, because all that i see is liquor" This is when my mom found the stash. For one weekend, just two night-I brought 1 handle of Jack, one handle of Jim Beam, and one hanlde of morgans and a t-shirt. Kyle brought no clothes and 3 handels of Smirnoff Vodka. Well she did not like this at all, after being forced to dump out all this liquor, and i mean forced because it was hard to see all of that good stuff go, we were sent to exile. When i woke up kyle was gone, my mom woke him up at 5 in the morning and sent him on a six hour bus ride back home, where he was met by his father-that at some time had a conversation with my mom that involved something about the amounts of booze we drink daily and i was not allowed to hand out with kyle for the rest of the summer. And i was forced to spend the rest of the weekend with no booze.
Though this happened when we were younger and involves alot of booze but no ho’s, i have some b-team stories on the way that involve group sex, strip clubs, and some shit we did but dont remeber.
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